How To Take Care of Yourself

 

 

Hi guys

As Salma Hayek said in her latest interview with Net-A-Porter “Women work harder than men and demand more of themselves, yet they have the sensation they don’t do enough”  (The Edit August2017, Net-A-Porter )*. It’s true we live a busy lifestyle nowadays. We want to do it all and take care of everyone which is admirable, yet from time to time and through all the chaos, we forget about and end up neglecting ourselves.There are many of us who think living a normal life, having a routine job and lifestyle is in opposition of taking care of ourselves as an individual in many ways. Or in order to do so we need lot’s of money and free time. This post is for all young women/mothers out there who take care of everyone and everything except themselves. Here are suggestions that you can use to treat and take care of yourself.

1-Wake up 15 minutes earlier

I know you don’t want to hear this but it’s inevitable. This is the first and most important step. You need some alone-time in your daily schedule ,even as little as 15 minutes, that you won’t do anything for anyone else but you. This is your time, use it the way you want just make sure that you are alone and there is no distraction. Choose your favorite spot around the house and read your favorite novel. Go for a quick walk. Do whatever you like, just make sure you’re doing it for yourself. I love to do some meditation or have a cup of tea on the balcony when the weather is fine. It will do wonders for your physical and mental health.

2-Take care of your body

Your body is the only one you get. You can replace almost everything in your life except your health. Take care of your body. Once in a while check your diet and make some changes to keep yourself at the top of your game. I think it’s a good idea to ask help from a professional. The same rule applies to your workout and exercise routine. Your body will adopt itself, so to get better results change is unavoidable. If you don’t have time or money to go to the gym there are lots of free at-home workout apps that you can use. Remember “A strong body makes the mind strong.” **

Massimodutti sweater

3-Take advantage of dead-times

We spent lots of time between places, whether it’s driving or using public transportation. These hours being waisted by listening to radio, music or day dreaming. Use this time wisely. Audio books and audio courses are two of the best options. They will let you choose exactly what you’re feeding your mind. My personal app is Audible (read about it here). Make a conscious decision on how you’re spending your time since it determines who you really are.

4-Get a Treatment

Once a month treat yourself with something special. Whether it’s a simple hair cut, foot massage or just having a cup of coffee at your favorite coffeeshop. Do it as a gesture of gratitude toward yourself for all the work you’ve done during that month. It doesn’t need to be something extraordinary just a symbol of recognition. Since I love stationery accessories and cute notebooks, that’s what I buy for myself from time to time. It may sound weird but it makes me feel good. Find small things that can lift your spirit and enjoy them.

5-Pay attention to your love life

I think love is source of happiness. Although this love can be love you’re feeling for your child or parents or even life in general, being cherished physically and spiritually is what we all need. Knowing that someone cares for you, listens to you and stands by you during this journey of life is as necessary as physical contact with another human being. It is crucial to stay connected with your partner. Don’t let all those worries and tiredness get between you two. Take this matter seriously and remember that it is a two-way street, you give and take.

These are results of my personal experience as a thirty-something years old woman. Hopefully it will give you some ideas and will help you be more kind and caring toward yourself.

Kisses

Nastaran

*Link to the interview

**Quote by Thomas Jefferson.

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How To Deal With Loss of Loved Ones

How to deal with loss and grief

Hi guys
About 6 years ago I lost my dearest grandfather and brother within 3 days. If I say it was the hardest experience of my life it would be understatement. There is no word to describe my feelings at that time. Loss of any close relative is hard but losing two of the most important persons of my life was unbearable.
Considering that it was trying time my life and I was going through some major unexpected changes while the news hit me, made all that even more excruciating. The situation seemed impossible to deal with and I didn’t handle it well. As a result I ended up with deep depression which led to anxiety and panic attacks. There are a few things that I wish I had known at that time. Simple acts that could help me. This is what I want to share with you today hopping it would help someone that is going through hard time.

1-Have closure

I know it seems rather obvious yet many, like me, fail to do that. Saying proper goodbye helps you to accept the fact that the one you love has left and won’t come back. Being at the funeral can help a lot. It lets the reality sink in and gives your mind a memory that can rely on to make the whole experience real. When my grandfather and  brother passed away I could not attend either of their funerals which years later I realized that it was one of the main causes of the depression I was battling with. So to have that closure I wrote a letter to my brother and one to my grandfather. The fact that my heart felt so much lighter after I’ve done that surprised me. So I humbly ask you to say a proper goodbye to your loved ones. It does not change the facts that they’re not with you anymore but it will help you tremendously to deal with this fact.

2-Share your feeling

I didn’t talk about my feelings for a really long time. I had this idea that I need to be strong for my family and showing any kind of sadness and sorrow would cause them even more suffering. I wrongfully thought that my family had so much pain to deal with they can’t deal with my grief. So I decided that I would cry and mourn later. The truth is even my family needed to see me crying to know that I’m ok. At the time I finally decided to talk to them I realized that my parents had been so worried about me not showing any normal sign of mourning.  I know it’s not easy to explain your feelings while you’re confused. Just know that it’s ok, this is what you are supposed to feel. Sharing your sadness and pain will create a bond among the family and friends that gives all of you strength to deal with this pain.

3-Be selfish

I know that it’s not what people want to here but it’s important to be selfish during this time. Your heart has been broken and you are suffering. Don’t tolerate any thing that put more pressure on you. I’m not asking you to go around and be rude or insensitive toward others. All I mean is that surround yourself with people who care. Let them to take care of you time to time. Their kindness and understanding will help you to heel. And if there is anyone who is ignorant toward you or seems not to be able to understand that you are in a difficult situation or expect you to put them and their need first, simply cut them off. If these are people that you can’t eliminate from your life permanently, at least try to avoid them for the time being. You already have enough to deal with. Those who can’t see that, don’t deserve to be part of your life.

4-Talk about the one you’ve lost

Sometimes our experiences are so painful that we try to forget it. But life doesn’t work that way. If you push back your memories they will come back and hit you even harder. Talk about whom you’ve lost. Remember good memories and share them with those who knew him/her. Treasure those moment you share and celebrate the life they had lived. It’s a great step toward acceptance.

5-Know that you are not alone

I had ignored this fact for really long time. I thought that no-one would understand me. To be honest that is ignorance. I can see it now. There are few billions people around the world, what ever I’m going through right now, someone has experienced it before. I understand that you don’t want to hear it since the person you’ve lost was very especial individual. Yet take a moment and think about it. Among all those people is it really possible that nobody has ever suffered from the same experience? No-one has ever lost an especial person? I dare to say that hundreds of thousand  people are dealing with such a reality right now. You might ask how it can help. It helps since seeing this truth and accepting it will lead you to open up to others. It will help you to do all the other steps easier. Open your heart to others and people will shock you with their understanding, empathy and compassion. You have no idea until you see and feel it yourself. Majority of people are amazingly caring.

6-Moving on is a good thing

Some of us are afraid of moving on. We think it means forgetting or betraying whom we lost. Those who suffering from this guilty feeling go too far in remembering those who passed away. They dramatically try to attach any situation to their grief. They are trapped since they feel guilty to move on. In my experience you don’t need to forget someone to move on. On the contrary you can have them in your heart and your memories while you are living your life. You can even find many ways to honor their name and memories. For example through supporting the cause they were passionate about. This way you have them in your life constantly. My grandmother was a teacher. For most of her life she fiercely had advocated education for girls. To honor her memory I’m supporting two girls to go to school and I will help them to finish their education. It’s not that much yet it’s my way to celebrate my grandmother’s memory. I don’t want to brag I’m simply telling you that you can take small steps to keep your loved ones memory alive, while you’re moving on with your life. You can support a local sport team, raise awareness about an illness, help to secure the safety of your neighborhood, cook for homeless people in your town, volunteer at a retirement home, play music at kids hospital…… Whatever that helps you to feel connected to them. Let them be your inspiration.

7-Take your time

Please know that grief is part of our life, accept it and let it pass on it’s natural terms. Fighting it will hurt you mentally and physically if you continue to suppress it. Also don’t rush it. Be patient and take your time. Treat yourself the way you would have treated a friend if they were in your position. Time will help, trust me on that. I don’t claim that the pain will completely go away but I assure you one day you will learn to live in harmony with it. Take your time and be kind to yourself.

8-Ask for help

Sometimes the only way to deal with the situation is getting a professional help. Don’t be ashamed of that. You would get help if you had a heart disease, wouldn’t you? Your mental health is as important as physical health, so be smart and ask for help.

Look at it this way; you’ll ask for direction when you’re lost, won’t you? So ask for direction. People with right knowledge will help you to learn techniques and skills to manage your grief. I did that and I should have done it much sooner. Seeing a therapist was the smartest move I’ve done in term of taking care of myself. She taught me a lot including some of these tips that I’m sharing with you. I hope it would be helpful for someone out there.

Kisses

Nastaran

Disclaimer: This is  my personal experience not professional point of view.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where To Go In Sweden?

Levis dress

Hi guys

When it comes to nature and magnificent scenery, Sweden has a lot to offer.  Many of these places have been described as “hidden gems” or  “a piece of heaven on earth”  by visitors. During summer time Ängelholm is one of those places.

Angelholm beach

It’s a beautiful city on the West coast in southern Sweden.  Beautiful houses stranded by beautiful gardens are all over the city. The long sandy seashore and clean blue water makes it perfect for both swimmers and sunbath lovers.

Nivea sunscreen

There are lots of local diners and bars in addition to hotels and B&Bs. If you are fan of camping there are several camping zones in the area too. There is also an adventure park called Upzone , that has one of the longest ziplines in Sweden. (more information here). Clean blue sky over the greenery creates a breathtaking view.

IMG_1015 2

If you like kayaking or canoeing,  Rönne River which runs through the city is perfect for you. This River is also one of the four rivers in Sweden which are popular for fishing salmons.Angelholm, Sweden

One of my favorite activities is cycling along the beautiful seashore especially before sunset. There are amazing views at both sides from harbors to ponds. This place is also attractive for nature photographers due to it’s astonishing sights.

Angelholm, Sverige

Hope you all get the chance to visit this beautiful city.

Links: Angelholm

Kisses

Nastaran

Disclaimer: this post is not sponsored.

 

 

How To Use Your Time Well?

Burberry Handbag

Hi guys

I had a friend when I was a teenager who used to do her homework on the way to school, in a moving car. I, on the other hand, couldn’t even look down at my book without feeling sick. I still have the same problem. I get carsick so fast that I can’t even text someone while I’m in a car, bus or train. Therefore seeing someone reading a book or working on a laptop makes me envious of them. They’re using the precious time being proactive while all I can do is to look out of the window avoiding motion sickness, such a waist of time. If you have the same problem surely you understand my frustration.

Ecco Boots

That’s one of the reasons that I love Audible. Since couple of months ago when I started to listen to my favorite books on Audible my life has changed. It actually lets me take advantage of the time I used to waist on my way to work or school. Nowadays I listen to any material that I find useful. Beside a huge range of books there are courses available that one can listen to, depending on one’s line of work or study.

H&M dress

Audible is part of Amazon company. As a result all Amazon prime members are automatically sign to Audible and can use it for free. Since I’m not a member, I pay 14,99 dollar monthly for Audible and I can say with confidence that it  is money well spent. Every member receives one credit every month that allows them to buy a book without any extra charge. That’s how I roll, all books I have in my Audible library have been purchased by monthly credit. I can proudly say that I’m building an amazing collection for only 14,99 dollar per month, which is a bargain.

 

 

Other reasons to love Audible is that one can have it on every device from iPhone to Pc. It’s the easiest app I’ve ever worked with. No matter how limited is one’s knowledge of using computers or smart phones, they can get a handle on it in no time. Therefore I think it’s an amazing gift for almost everyone. You can give a membership as a gift to anyone you love, paying for only one month or the whole year. I think that’s a gift of lifetime.

burberry handbag

 

You also can share books that you like with your friends and family no matter where they are. For me that’s one of the huge advantages of Audible. Sharing knowledge is one of the most precious gifts. Also it reminds me of my childhood and all those books that my grandfather had bought me through the years. That was one of our family traditions. Twice a year he used to buy a book for all his grandchildren. Those books are still one of my most valuable possessions. The collection is his legacy in addition to be a reminder of his love and care for me . Now I’m trying to build a digital version on Audible, that will last forever , for myself and all those that I care about.

You can try Audible for two weeks free of charge. During this trial one can have two free audio books of their choice to listen to.

H&M dress

 

Links:

-Klick here for Audible program

-Two of my favorite books are available here and here.

Kisses

Nastaran

Disclaimer: this post is in association with Amazon affiliate program.